


I Hate You, I Love You

by papajumin



Category: Mystic Messenger (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Drama & Romance, F/M, Love/Hate Relationship, Other Additional Tags to Be Added
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-18
Updated: 2018-10-05
Packaged: 2018-12-03 16:07:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,277
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11535705
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/papajumin/pseuds/papajumin
Summary: You're a struggling actress and Zen is your rival. You're both casted as the romantic leads in a play. This is your last chance at acting before your manager dumps you for someone else.





	1. I Hate Him

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first multi-chapter fanfic so I hope it's good! Constructive feedback is always welcomed ♡ 
> 
> Enjoy~

You can’t stand the sight of him. His long white ponytail, his luminous ruby eyes, his chiseled features, his toned arms, his- You shake your head to rid it of thoughts of him. You hate yourself for having these thoughts. He’s your enemy and his good looks won’t do anything to change that. You can’t risk losing focus on your work. This is your last chance to prove you are a good actress, otherwise your manager is dumping you for a younger, fresher actress.

Zen has been your rival for 2 years now. Both of you have fought the other to get the better role; you more than him since he was so much better looking than you and seemed to always get the exact part he wanted while you were stuck with being a minor character, _if_ you got a part at all. And the fact that Zen seemed to get every part he wanted, sometimes without even having to audition, just pissed you off. It's to the point where you could barely look at him, although you’re playing the lead couple together in this show. You almost lost it when you found out. It took all your strength not to punch the wall. When storming out of the room, Zen was right outside. You knew he was waiting for you and it was confirmed when he pushed himself off the wall he was leaning on and sauntered his way over to you. You couldn’t help but glare at him.

“Hey, babe.” He smirked at the sour face you gave him. “Now, don’t be like that. We’re going to be spending a lot of time together since we’re the lead couple,” he leaned a bit closer and smiled at that, “you need to drop the attitude otherwise this will be a miserable experience for the both of us. Besides, you should be thanking me. I’m the one who convinced the director you should be given the lead female.” He straightened up and looked pleased with himself while you couldn’t believe your ears. Zen was the reason you were the lead? You couldn’t help but stare at him with disbelief, your mind reeling from this. All you wanted to do is punch him in that adorable smirk he gave you. Wait, no. His smirk is NOT adorable; it is infuriating. You gave him the nastiest glare and stormed away before you did punch him. Or worse, kiss him.


	2. Oh No He Didn't

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another short chapter but it's still good! I hope you enjoy~

A few days later, you arrive on set, ready to give it your all. You look around for the director to find out what you are working on today. Spotting him, you hurry over, only to slow down after seeing Zen is talking to him. Why does he have to be there when that’s where you need to go? He’s always in your way and it just pisses you off. Gathering up all your strength, you raise your chin and walk over. You are not going to let him get in your way anymore.

As you walk up and stop in front of them, Zen looks at you, gives you a glance-over, and smirks. “Well look-y here, Director. Speak of the devil, and she shall arrive.” He once again gives you a once-over and looks away. You blush slightly from the amount of attention he’s been giving you lately but scold yourself silently and turn towards the director.

“So, what scenes are we working on today? I know how you like to get right to the point with this so I want to be even just a little prepared so no time is wasted when we start.” You had only just gotten the script the day before and, frankly, did not bother to read the whole thing. All you got from skimming over it a bit was that yours and Zen’s characters are in a love-hate relationship and they end up together in the end. In all honesty, the story line made you want to vomit from how cliché it is, but you had no other choice.

Zen snickers and turns away. You glare at him, wondering what’s wrong with him now. Turning back to the director, you see a giant smile on his face. “Today we’re going to work on the kissing scene! Zen suggested it and said that you wouldn't have a problem with it. Besides, I want to see how you two connect because that defines how well you'll do together.” 

The director is waiting for some kind of an answer from you but you just can't manage it. You and Zen are going to be kissing? A weird pounding in your chest brings you back to your senses. “Uh.. yeah. I don't have a problem with it. I think it's great to work on that scene early on.” You give him the brightest smile, making sure not to let any of your inner turmoil show through it. 

He nods and waves you off. “Okay, we'll get started in about twenty. Go to your dressing room and brush up on the scene. I want you both fully prepared.” He turns away, yelling at crew members to get their jobs done. You wait for him to get out of earshot before you let the breath out that you were holding. Grumbling under your breath, you turn around to go get ready but turn right into Zen’s chest. 

“What are you doing? Why were you standing so close behind me?” Rubbing your nose where it slammed against his hardened chest, you glare up at him. He's smiling back at you but raises his hands and takes a step back. Your chest is doing that weird thumping thing again and you're wondering if you should go see a doctor after rehearsal. 

“Sorry, sorry. I just wanted to let you know not to be nervous for today's rehearsal. I know a lot of people get nervous before kissing a god like me but I'm really just an average guy. Also, I wanted to say, you should put some chapstick on. Your lips are looking pretty chapped and it's a mood killer to be smooching on dry lips.” He winks at you and starts to walk past you. You grab his arm and turn him back around to you. 

“Listen here, buddy. I don't know what you're trying to pull here but it won't work with me. You think I'll be nervous kissing you? Ha! As if. You think so highly of yourself, it's a wonder how anyone can even stand being around you for more than two minutes. Sure, you're good looking, but that doesn't mean _squat_ since you're a narcissistic asshole. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to get ready for our rehearsal.” 

You turn around and continue walking to your dressing room, smiling to yourself from seeing the incredulous look that came over Zen’s face. You kept your back straight and chin held high on your walk to your room. As soon as you got in the room and closed the door, you slump down against it, sliding down to the floor. How could you face him now that you told him off?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading! The next chapter is considerably longer so look forward to that! I hope you enjoyed reading this c:
> 
>  
> 
> Please consider [buying me a coffee](http://ko-fi.com/nyssmess).


	3. First Rehearsal

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhh I totally forgot to post this chapter >.< Sorry! Anyways, I hope you like it!

Okay, so you just told Zen off, to his actual face, instead of in your head like you usually do, and in 20 minutes you’re going to have to rehearse the kissing scene. Why did the director choose to start off with that scene? 

You slap your face lightly a couple times to get it together. You can do this. He is no better than you, no matter how much he makes it seem so. He is only good for his looks; you have seen him in a couple shows and his acting still needs work. It won’t be long before people realize he isn’t the god of acting that he makes himself out to be. 

Taking a deep breath, you calm yourself. You decide to spend the rest of the time reading over the scene you are about to do. You want to be as prepared as you can possibly be. It will also help you forget what you just did. 

When there's five minutes left, you stop. This scene isn't too bad. You actually kind of enjoy it. Not the kissing part, of course; the fact that you get to yell at him. You secretly relish that you get to tell him off in front of everyone. You check yourself in the mirror and fix yourself. You are about to put on chapstick but remember Zen’s earlier comment. He can deal kissing your dry lips. It'll be your own little victory. 

You make your way on set and wait for the director’s directions. You are slightly relieved when you don't see Zen anywhere. But it is short lived as a minute later he comes sauntering in. He winks you as he positions himself on the other side of the stage. 

“Okay everyone!” The director claps his hands to get everyone's attention. “We're working on the kissing scene to see how well these two can act as the characters and what we need for them to work on.” He turns towards the stage and motions you and Zen over. “We have some basic furniture to help you with your blocking. I trust that you both read the script and familiarized yourselves a bit. You may hold the script but do try not to have your face shoved in it. I want you guys up and moving. Just follow the stage directions given there and I'll make adjustments as I see fit. Now show me what you've got.” And with that he walked away. 

As you walk back to center stage, you make sure to look at the script again. In this scene, you're in your apartment and Zen, Taemin in the play, comes in and accuses you of trying to sabotage his friendships. One thing leads to another and then you're kissing. Just one giant cliché. It can be seen a mile away but people tend to eat it up. You just can't believe it's Zen you'll be kissing. And you hate the fluttering in your chest when you think about how soft his lips will be against yours- No. No thinking about that. You have to stop that.

You look back up and nod at the director that you're ready. You head to the couch and sit down, pulling your phone out to scroll through. A second later Zen bursts through the door. You immediately drop your phone and rise to meet him. 

“What's wrong? Why did you just barge in here?” You say. 

He looks at you sharply. “You,” he spits out. You shrivel under his glare. “You tried to ruin all my friendships! Why? Why would you do that to me?” He pauses and waits for an answer. “Answer me!” 

You stammer out, “I-I wasn't trying to ruin anything! They aren't good friends. You deserve so much better-” 

“Better? Like you? Oh please. You're no better. Yeah they aren't the best people but I have known them for years and you only for a few months. And in those few months I have gotten closer; I've seen all your flaws. Trust me when I say they are worse than all my friends flaws together-” 

**SLAP**

Zen’s head turns from the force of your hand. When you begin to talk you can see red spreading across his cheek. “How dare you talk to me like that? You come into my home and accuse me of something I wasn't even doing and then proceed to insult me when I try to explain myself? YOU are the worst! I don't even want to look at you right now. Just go.” 

You start to turn away but Zen pulls you back and holds your face in his hands. “You-” he shakes his head and then kisses you, hard. 

So many thoughts explode in your mind right then. This is wrong, no, this is right. Push him away, pull him closer. You need him, you can't stand him. After a second, you try to push him away but he pulls you closer. You stop struggling when you realize there's no getting away. You melt into the kiss when his lips move over yours. This is heaven. There are no more negative thoughts right now, only pure bliss. He is no longer your enemy; you need him and he needs you. You can tell by the way he keeps grabbing at you and nipping your lips to grant him access to your tongue. It wouldn't hurt to get a small taste of him…

“Cut!”

You rip yourself from him when you realize what you were just doing. You look at him and he's a mess; you know you are too. You can't stand to look at him any longer so you turn away and pointedly look at the director, trying to look unaffected by the kiss. 

“That was great! The chemistry was great between you. You did very well with the blocking and I loved the way you delivered the lines. There's a bit more we can work on together but for now, that was good. That was all I had planned for the day so you're free to leave. Be here tomorrow at 7 am so we can start from the beginning.” 

As soon as he turns away, you dash away to your room. All you want to do is go home and shower. You feel filthy from your actions. Why did you do that? Who knows. All you do know is you need to wash him off of you.

“Hey wait!” Zen is running after you. “Can you slow down?” He grabs your arm and tries to pull you back.

You rip your arm away from him. “Do not touch me. I did not give you permission to touch me. Just stay away.” Crossing your arms, you turn to continue walking to your room. 

“Please. I just want to talk.” You don't stop walking but he keeps pace with you. “Don't tell me you didn't feel anything when we kissed. It was like magic-”

You spin around and stab a finger in his chest. “There was no magic. There was nothing. I was acting. Couldn't you tell? You should've since you claim you're this amazing actor. I'm trying to get home so I can get to memorizing some lines so if you'll excuse me.” Turning around, you continue once again to your room. 

You're just about to open the door when a hand slams into it, keeping it shut. “What the fu-” you turn around and realize you're caged in by Zen. “You're invading my space. Can you back off?”

“No.” He's staring down at you with an expression you don't recognize. “I can't. If you won't freely listen, I'll make you.” 

Scoffing, you reply, “You'll make me? Okay, big guy. Good luck with that.” You move to duck under his arm but he presses himself closer until you're squished between him and the door. “Uhh, excuse you. What did I just say about touching me? Get off of me before I sue you for harassment.” 

He doesn't say anything; he just keeps looking at you with that expression. 

“Hello? Anybody in there?” Still no response. “Jeez man. I didn't realize you were looney. Do you treat all your women co-workers like this? Seriously get off of me.” Bringing your hands up, you place them on his chest and push. He doesn't move at all. You shove harder. 

You're too distracted trying to get him off that you don't realize the hand slithering behind you to grip the back of your neck. You don't realize what he's doing until he angles your head up. 

“Hey man, knock it off-” 

His lips crash down onto yours. You lose all sense of control. Your hands move up and wrap around his neck, gripping at his ponytail. His mouth opens with a gasp and you take that opportunity to taste him. Of course he tastes of mint. He growls when he feels your tongue enter his mouth and fights to gain control again. 

He bites your lip, showing you he's in charge. But you are not going to give into him. You pull his hair to get back at him for biting you. He gasps again, letting out a small moan afterwards. 

“Ahem.” 

Quickly pulling away from each other, you see the director standing there looking irritated. Uh oh.

“Could you two please take that somewhere private? You're making others uncomfortable.” 

You blush and quickly apologize. “I'm sorry. It won't happen again.” You aim that last sentence at Zen, who is standing there looking dumbfounded. You take advantage of him being distracted and rush out of there. 

When you arrive home, you flop down on to your bed. “What the hell just happened?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading! It may be a while until I next update but I'll make sure it's worth it c;
> 
> Please consider [buying me a coffee](http://ko-fi.com/nyssmess).


	4. A Much Needed Run

The rest of that day is spent in your own thoughts, reliving both kisses over and over. You repeatedly catch yourself touching your lips and then silently scolding yourself for it. After two more hours of this, you decide to go for a jog. Hopefully the fresh air will help clear your head. 

Locking your door, you swing your small bag on your back and head to the nearest park. It has long pathways which are perfect for jogging along. You arrive and start to stretch. When you’re done, you decide to fast-walk to warm up. 

You deeply breath in the crisp air. It feels nice to be outside like this. It’s been a while since you’ve gotten to go outside and get some exercise. You make a promise to yourself right there to start getting outside and exercising at least once a week. 

When you get back home, your mind is in a much better place. You still feel pretty energized so you decide to clean up around your small apartment. It tends to get messy when you go through auditions since you’re always rushing around and don’t properly put anything back. You turn on some music and get to picking up everything. 

A few hours pass and you finally finish. You forgot how exhausting cleaning can be, especially after jogging earlier. You really have to start exercising more. 

A growling sounds suddenly comes from your stomach. “Oh… I should probably find something to eat. I didn’t realize it has gotten so late.” 

As you’re rummaging in the fridge to see what’s in there to eat, you hear your phone ring from the living room. You grimace in the direction of your phone but don’t stop looking for food. Whoever it is can leave a message and wait until after you’ve gotten some food in your stomach. You finally find some stuff to make a sandwich and get to making it when your phone rings again. 

“Who could be calling me?” You wander over to your phone to see if the person is calling is worth abandoning your sandwich. Picking up the phone, the number on the screen is unrecognizable. You think for a minute who could possibly be calling and realize it’s a big possibility it’s the director. You quickly press the answer button on the last ring and hope you caught him in time. 

“Hello?” You answer the phone a little breathy, scared that he’ll be mad you took a long time to answer. Some directors expect you to answer on the first ring and will threaten to fire people who don’t; you just hope this one isn’t like that.

Although the voice coming through the phone scared you more than any furious director.

“Hello, dear,” Zen breathes in your ear.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for such a short update after so long >.< I've been in a slump but hopefully I'll be able to write more faster c:

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry it's so short >.< the next couple chapters are longer so look out for those! Thank you for reading ♡ 
> 
>  
> 
> Please consider [buying me a coffee](http://ko-fi.com/nyssmess).


End file.
